30 Shards

Character: Kikyou

Shard: #1 - Legends

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Kikyou reminisces about her childhood dream and her failure in achieving it.

Genre: Angst

Squicks: N/A

Word Count: 476

Notes: First time I wrote angst, so pardon any excessive clichéd-ness.

The little girl looked adoringly up at Kikyou. Her outstretched hands curled tightly around a scrap of paper, probably salvaged from a torn scroll found lying in the streets. A myriad of colours peeked from between the girl’s fingers as she held it out towards the miko.

Kikyou reached forward and accepted it with a smile of thanks. The little girl beamed, gave Kikyou’s waist a shy squeeze before running off. The smile slipped off Kikyou’s face as she stared after the child. Her hands tightened unconsciously around the paper, crumpling what would have undoubtedly been a disproportioned, but lovingly drawn portrait of her.

Gliding back into her hut, Kikyou tossed the paper into the fire without so much as a glance. Her eyes stung with tears that would not come and the space where her heart should’ve been ached with so much anger and regret that it made Kikyou double over in pain. A bitter laugh escaped her before she knew she had even opened her mouth. It was morbidly amusing how much a childhood dream could still affect her, fifty years after her death.

Even now, she still remembered the conversation with her sensei down to the last detail. It had been surprisingly warm for an autumn’s day and her sensei had decided to take their miko lessons outside. Surrounded by countless scrolls and texts from previous generations, Kikyou had been sidetracked by paintings of heroines of the past. The brushstrokes and vivid colours portrayed a world where good always triumphed over evil and orphans did not exist. An unexpected warmth blossomed in her heart and she childishly decided that she would be one of them when she grew up. She would be a miko worthy of being immortalised by all the famous painters of their time.

“Sensei, sensei! When I grow up, I’m going to be just like her! People from everywhere will know about me. I’ll get rid of all the nasty youkai and keep everybody safe!”

Her sensei had only chuckled and rested a warm hand on her head in affection. “I’m sure you will Kikyou. What you will accomplish will become legendary and all the little girls are going to wish to be just like you when they grow up.”

Kikyou had beamed, completely certain she would attain her goal in the way all children are. For the rest of the afternoon, she had poured excitedly over all the paintings and scrolls, dreaming of the day when she would join them. The possibility of failure had never even crossed her mind that day.

But she had failed, hadn’t she?

As Kikyou watched the drawing turn into ash, she laughed at her own stupidity and childish innocence.

“Sorry sensei. I don’t think any little girl is going to wish to be like me.”

After all, failures do not pass into legends.