30shards | Koharu Shard – Theme #9, Sunset

Title: Predator and Prey
Author: Lavender Valentine
Character(s): Koharu
Theme: #9 Sunset
Rating: [13+] Some Caution
Genres: Drama
Word Count: 179
Squicks: None really.
Summary: Koharu fears the sunset…

Predator and Prey

Koharu had learned to fear the setting of the sun, for vicious animals often hunted their prey at night.

Daytime meant work, hard work, toiling in the oil-merchant’s vineyard, reaping a harvest of fuel. Daytime meant hands and feet that ached from her labors, tightening a cask here, emptying a large vat there. Daytime meant commanding her body to move quickly, for those who did not work with haste, did not eat.

And when the sun would begin its slow descent into the sky, her back would stiffen and her belly would tighten into a knotted string. Daytime was difficult and long, but at least it was safe. The setting sun, however, meant feeling the oil-merchant’s son’s eyes as they undressed her with a hungry gleam, hearing his quickened breaths of desire.

She could sense that the predator who stalked her had grown impatient. Shoulders taut with dread, Koharu watched the fiery ball as it sunk into the horizon. The sun was setting, and she wondered if tonight would be the night when her two-legged terror would finally pounce.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

raihu.livejournal.com

Ooh, now here's something we don't get to see often - a glimpse of a minor character, and everyday peasant life. Stunning though it seems, not everybody has the pleasure of occupying their time with hunting for the pieces of a demon gem. =O

I like seeing the sunset so closely associated with something hateful and frightening. There's so much vivid sunset imagery to be had in this world, but few people think to link it with the darkness that comes afterward. This is an excellent (if unnerving) scene lifted from Koharu's day-to-day life; it's amazing fun to see her as a real person, rather than an irritating little sideplot intended for temporary entertainment.

And how fitting that it's "the oil-merchant's son" she fears . . . I automatically pictured him being snide and greasy. =P

Lovely writing. Your style brings Koharu's exhaustion and apprehension to life - and now I can't help wondering what other thoughts and emotions she's been hiding all this time. ^^;